The Grandmaster Gambit: How Being Nice to People Pays Off on and Off the Board

We've all met them: the brilliant but abrasive colleague, the incredibly talented artist who treats assistants like dirt, or maybe even the chess prodigy who smirks after every opponent's mistake. They might win battles, but do they win the war?

The idea that "Being Nice to People Pays" might sound like a Sunday school lesson, but in the fiercely competitive arenas of professional life—and yes, even in the silent, intellectual struggle of chess—it's one of the most powerful, often overlooked, strategies for long-term success.

The Unique Power of You

First, let's address the core truth: You are unique, and so is everyone else.

The pressure to "be better" often translates into a desire to prove superiority by bossing people around or dominating conversations. This impulse stems from insecurity, not strength. When you genuinely internalize that "Nobody is better or smarter than you," the flip side becomes true as well: you don't need to prove it by putting others down.

• The Power of Respect: True confidence means respecting the unique perspective and skill set everyone brings to the table, regardless of their position relative to yours.

This is especially critical when you are working your way up. The people you treat kindly today might be the ones holding the doors open for you tomorrow.

The Chess Connection: Strategy Over Arrogance

How does this play out in the 64 squares? Chess is the ultimate game of intellectual combat, yet the most enduring champions embody a quiet respect for their opponents and the community.

1. The Opening: Building Your Network

In real life, your "opening" is how you begin your career.

• The Domineering Player: The player who constantly criticizes their opponent's moves, gloats over wins, and refuses to help newcomers. They might win today's game, but they’ve created a circle of people who actively wish for their downfall and won't share crucial, informal knowledge.

• The Nice Player (The Collaborator): They are gracious in victory and defeat. They offer tips to beginners and are reliable training partners. This player builds a network. Who will you want to analyze a challenging game with late at night? The one who respects your time and ideas, or the one who demands you acknowledge their genius? That network—that community—is your ultimate resource for rapid growth.

Example from the Chess World: Think about training partners. A top player needs high-quality sparring to prepare for major tournaments. If they have a reputation for being impatient, dismissing ideas, or stealing opening novelty without credit, the best potential partners will simply refuse to work with them. The kind, respectful player, however, attracts the best minds, leading to superior preparation and results.

2. The Middlegame: Positional Advantage (Reputation)

Your reputation is your positional advantage in the professional world.

• The Bossy Pawn-Pusher: An aspiring manager or rising star who uses their brief authority to demand unreasonable things. They win temporary compliance, but create long-term resentment. When they need a favor—a late night push on a project, a stellar recommendation—people drag their feet or refuse entirely.

• The Kind Strategist: This person gives credit where it's due, asks rather than demands, and defends their team. Their people are willing to go the extra mile, treating their success as a shared victory. Kindness secures loyalty and trust, which are non-negotiable for anyone leading a complex initiative. This accelerates goal achievement far quicker than fear ever could.

Example from the Corporate Ladder: Consider a software developer working on a large, cross-functional project. The abrasive developer might solve their own problems brilliantly, but if they are rude to the Quality Assurance (QA) team, the QA team might be less diligent in testing their specific code, prioritizing the work of the nicer, more collaborative developer instead. A small delay or bug due to poor interpersonal relations can derail a project—and a career—far faster than technical incompetence.

3. The Endgame: The King's Journey

Chess endgames are often messy, complex, and rely on tiny advantages. Similarly, the final stages of achieving a major goal often require flexibility and unexpected aid.

• The Isolated King: The person who has burned bridges discovers they have no "back rank" support. They might be brilliant, but their path is slowed by having to solve every minor problem themselves, because no one wants to step in and help.

• The Supported King: The person who built relationships by being nice finds doors opening effortlessly. An old colleague from an entry-level job now manages a key department and fast-tracks their proposal. A mentor they treated kindly years ago makes a crucial introduction. Kindness acts as a compounding interest on your personal capital.

Example from Fundraising/Sales: A young entrepreneur is trying to secure crucial seed funding. Their pitch deck is technically perfect, but investors often bet on the person as much as the idea. An investor who previously crossed paths with the entrepreneur—perhaps as an intern, a junior analyst, or even a service worker who was treated with respect—is far more likely to take their call, offer a warm introduction, or simply put in a good word. That single act of leverage, rooted in a past moment of kindness, is the difference between failure and funding.

4. Post-Mortem: Handling Defeat and Criticism

In chess, the "post-mortem" (analyzing the game after it's over) is vital for growth. Your behavior here defines your long-term relationship with the chess community.

• The Blame-Shifter: The player who blames the clock, the lighting, or their opponent's "luck." They refuse to acknowledge their errors, preventing growth, and alienating anyone who offers constructive feedback.

• The Humble Learner: The player who genuinely thanks their opponent for the game and asks, "What did I miss?" This humility not only fosters learning but instantly disarms their opponent, turning them into a potential future ally or mentor. Being nice in defeat showcases character, which is often more memorable than a victory.

A Simple, Powerful Move

The Grandmaster Gambit isn't about being weak or avoiding conflict. It's about being strategically smart. It means:

1. Offering a Handshake, Not a Snarl: Be gracious, even when you have the upper hand.

2. Listening: Acknowledging the other person's worth by genuinely hearing their perspective.

3. Lifting Others: Understanding that helping others rise doesn't diminish your own potential; it broadens the base of people who want to see you succeed.

Your greatest pieces—your intelligence, your work ethic—will take you far. But the support of your team, your network, and your community is the crucial army that protects your King and ensures checkmate.

Be nice. It’s not just the right thing to do; it’s the most efficient strategy for winning the game of life.

Your Move:

What’s one small act of kindness—a compliment, a moment of thanks, or an offer to help—you can make to a colleague or even a former opponent today to strengthen your network?